A Biblical Definition
(excerpt taken from Fireproof Your Marriage, Family and Life: A Seminar for Men Only by Dave Brown)

What does it mean to be distinctly a man? Is it just our sexual plumbing and hormones, which is what the culture embraces? We submit to you this morning that being a man is about faithfully the pursuing and doing our wired-in, God-assigned roles and responsibilities to our wives, children, church and yes even the culture --- to be salt and light for God’s glory and

The truth is you’re male by birth; you’re a man by choice. Every man makes a choice whether to live according to how God has designed him and purposed him or to live a counterfeit design and purpose.

Right up front it’s important you have the best working definition we’ve come across about what it means to be a real man – the real deal. It comes from Dr. Robert Lewis, Sr. Pastor, Fellowship Bible Church, Little Rock AK and founder of Men’s Fraternity. He got it from the Bible and we think he’s spot on. Lewis writes that real man 1) rejects passivity 2) expects the greater reward 3) accepts responsibility and 4) leads courageously.

Let me explain a bit about this four-point definition.

REJECTS Passivity

He’s not apathetic or indifferent about life or God and the things of God. Like Jesus, a real man is always the initiator. He’s constantly vigilant, fully engaged in life and has both his head and heart in the game. He’s not a spectator but a player in the role assigned him by God

EXPECTS the greater reward

A real man is not a short-run guy looking for instant self gratification or to please and impress others. He’s’ in the spiritual battle for the long haul. He has an eternal perspective and foregoes short term gain for long term reward of receiving his destiny in Heaven with Christ. When final curtain falls on this world stage, he longs to hear Christ say to him, “Well done my good and faithful servant.” Matthew 25:21

ACCEPTS Responsibility

He owns up to his stuff. He’s no buck passer like Adam in the Garden. He faithfully embraces his responsibilities for the wellbeing of others, starting with his wife and children and takes seriously the vows he makes to nurture, protect and provide for them. He’s a man of duty and honor. He’s accountable to an Audience of One for his thoughts, words, deeds and the motivations of his heart.

LEADS Courageously

The Bible constantly calls men out and up to be the spiritual leaders of their homes, to love their wives sacrificially and unconditionally, and to spiritually nurture and instruct their children. In carrying out the Great Commission a real man understand his first responsibility is to disciple his wife and children.

We are to boldly protect them from evil, to provide for their earthly needs and to lead and live with the truth. In Christlikeness we are to take up the basin and towel as servant leaders “to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do” (Ephesians 2:10).

The Counterfeit

Adam did exactly the opposite of each of these characteristics. He chose disobedience. He was passive, short-sighted, irresponsible and cowardly.Men have been imitating Adam’s example ever since the Fall. Only Jesus who the Bible calls the Second Adam is the Real man. He lived under His Father’s authority passionately, obediently and dependently, even into death. Only Jesus fulfilled this definition perfectly on earth in our flesh. In doing so, Jesus redeemed our fallen masculinity and enables us to be real men by his power and through his blood.

Our culture tells men they can be real only if they claim their right to self-satisfaction and self-fulfillment. When asked, "Who are you?"so many men expect the answer to be found in their accomplishments, their possessions or their position, or their reputation. Yet all these things are fleeting and they can exact a horrible cost on us and those who we love.

But a man who loves Christ, has his identity and rests in Christ’s freedom is known by the promises he’s makes and keeps -- promises like his wedding vows. A real man is a man of his word. Keeping it without fibbing or fudging is a test of manhood so critical that Jesus and his earthly brother James both commanded it.

Jesus commands us, …”let your statement be, 'Yes, yes' or 'No, no'; anything beyond these is of evil.” (Matthew 5:37) James appropriated Jesus’ words and wrote: Let your "Yes" be yes, and your "No," no, or you will be condemned.” James 5:12 The world needs men whose word is their bond.

Let me tell you about a real man - one of my heroes.

He’s not a macho guy, no William Wallace or Maximus the Gladiator, no household name, even in the Christian world. But, he personifies biblical manhood in extraordinary ways. His name is Robertson McQuilken.

He was married to Muriel for 53 years. He was the President of Columbia Bible College and Seminary, a renowned New Testament theologian, and author and speaker. His biggest fan and supporter was Muriel. In the 1980’s her health began to deteriorate. She was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. She could no longer function alone.

In 1990 Robertson McQuilken stood before the student body a Columbia Bible College and Seminary and announced his resignation from its Presidency – a position that was his lifelong dream – to go home and take care of Muriel.

When asked why he would give up so much Robertson said he had vowed to take care of her in sickness and in health and “I am a man of my word.”

Like millions of other godly men whose stories are not told, Robertson McQuilken is a man of his word who loves his wife sacrificially and unconditionally. He stands firm and kept the faith. The Robertson McQuilken's of the world

Reject passivity

Expects the greater reward

Accepts responsibility

Leads courageously

Robertson McQuilken is a true Tender Warrior who leaves a lasting legacy of real manhood. Men, let me ask you one question: Do you love your wife like that? Are you faithful to your vow to forsake all others?